God's Got This One

August 26, 2019

God’s Got This One

It’s been awhile since I’ve written. Sometimes there are just no words. Sometimes all that rests on this side of heaven is a heart full of prayers for comfort or a general daze, along with a soaking in reality.

The past couple of weeks, Cherie took a well needed vacation up in the pines of AZ. My parents took her to a cabin, where she got to spend time with some close friends that came up to visit with her. And Cherie did get a couple days to herself, all alone…something she hasn’t had since last December! She filled her days in the mountains with lots of rest and sleep. She was also getting used to some new pain medicine that seemed to mostly do the trick. At one point she took a 2 mile walk with a friend and enjoyed every minute of it. When she wasn’t with her friends she slept…she LOVES her sleep!

It’s been about 6 weeks now that Cherie has been experiencing pain…it’s a pain that comes with cancer, somewhere inside her abdomen area, but nothing succinct, just general pain. Sometimes it’s just an annoying sloshy tummy feeling. Sometimes it hurts enough for me to hear it in her voice. Those times are more often now. Those times are daily. But God’s got this one.

God has truly blessed Cherie with a palliative care doctor that has been sweet, sympathetic, and straight forward. She has given Cherie her personal cell phone number so they can work together to figure out what meds are helpful. In the past month Cherie was experiencing extreme pain and went to the ER, where they performed a CT scan. The things that showed up in that scan are indicators of why the palliative doctor has encouraged Cherie to pursue hospice care. The doctor also told Cherie that she should be eating things and doing things that make her feel good. After that appointment, we all went out for Chick Fil A and picked up some amazing Chocolate Ganache ice cream! God’s got this one!

But the pain and uncomfortableness have been a lurking issue. The appetite to eat is just not there. The doctor has helped to find the right combination of meds that will give Cherie some relief, but she has continued to point Cherie in the direction of hospice care. This week Cherie, mom, dad, and I will meet with hospice. I am eager to see how they can help Cherie with her pain. Since she has chosen not to receive chemo treatment, hospice will be there to make sure she is living as comfortably as possible.  I am thankful for those of you who have helped encourage her to pursue learning more about what hospice can do to help her. I am a huge proponent of this pursuit, since it has been a struggle to see Cherie deal with pain everyday now. And God’s got this one.

We still have been given no timeline as to how much time my sister still has on this earth. And then I stop to think: Has anyone really truly been given a timeline for our short stay on this earth?!  This cancer thing just starts to tug at the heart and we all want to know what to expect. It’s difficult. It’s not difficult to recognize that our earthly bodies are in God’s Sovereign hands, but when the reality of cancer hits, along with the suffering effects, this is when I struggle with a known situation that I can’t control. But then I sit at the feet of my Beloved Savior and rest in peace, accepting my helplessness, feeling that humbleness which comes with the acknowledgement that my hands are weak, my efforts to control are feeble. God’s got this one.

There are no rose colored glasses for this entry. The cancer is growing. It’s hard to watch.

We thank God for:

-          The time away that Cherie had in the AZ pines!

-          The friends God has placed in her life that have truly been an encouragement

-          The health of my parents, who have been steady providers for Cherie in ways we can never try to count

-          Giving man the idea for medication that was invented that will help smooth this time ahead

-          Flowers. She still loves flowers. A single flower or a beautiful bouquet will always brighten her day

Please pray for:

-          A quick transition to hospice care. We want Cherie to enjoy her days and have more good days than pain filled ones

-          Stamina for Cherie on her good days

-          Cherie to have a heart of peace as she opens her mind to even the word “hospice” and the reality she faces

-          My mom and dad. They will need energy and stamina as things progress