No Chemo #4

February 26, 2019

This entry will might take your breath away. You might feel sick after reading it. You might be emotional, asking lots of WHY questions. You might be depressed or your heart may feel heavy. Anxiety might overcome you. You may feel sad. Perhaps this news will feel like it’s sucking the life out of you…

Cherie has decided not to continue with chemotherapy.

What you may be feeling now are some of the very symptoms Cherie has been feeling since her chemotherapy started, but especially these past 2 weeks. She feels as if the chemo is sucking life out of her. She has experienced numerous side effects, such as those listed above, since the 3^rd treatment. Tomorrow would be chemo treatment #4. Cherie has decided against it.

Today we met with Dr. Brooks, Cherie’s oncologist. My mom, dad, Cherie and I were there together. Dr. Brooks listened as Cherie shared her heartfelt desire: She does not want to experience any more of these horrible side effects. Her desire is to live out the rest of her days, months, or years with the quality of life that she enjoys rather than dreads. Now you are probably overwhelmed with emotion, and understandably so but, you see, none of us are in Cherie’s shoes. None of us has experienced exactly what Cherie has thus far, not one of us. We must rest in the fact that the Lord has become Cherie’s stronghold, her rock of refuge.

So the plan is this: Cherie will receive a PET scan or CT scan late next week (depending on which one insurance will cover). Dr. Brooks will discuss the findings with us a few days after that and we will discuss any options that he suggests. He did tell Cherie today that he will continue to suggest treatment, but he also shared that what she has decided is not a crazy idea. The goal now is to help her live with the best quality of life possible. He is honoring her desire and has agreed to give supportive care as she goes down this road.

I pray for you, the reader, as I assume you are a friend of my sister. Your heart is probably heavy. As I see this play out I acknowledge that no one knows what this is going to look like other than the Maker of heaven and earth. We will take each day as it comes. Cherie will continue to go to see Dr. Brooks regularly. New decisions may be made. A new diagnosis may come about, but please know that, for now, Cherie is at peace with her decision. I want what she wants, even if my mind and soul ache for the opposite at times. There will be difficult days ahead with possible weight loss and nutrition issues, as well as possible pain, but we can’t predict these things. Our comfort comes from above, trusting that God is faithful and He will complete His work until the very end.

Please continue to pray. I am still coming up with a list of requests so that you may know how to pray. For now, I pray that you will find comfort in the Lord. All of our days are numbered. Cherie may have more days on this earth than any of us!

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow,

Kristi Lynn

If you have further questions, please feel free to contact me at kkinney44@hotmail.com