November 29,
2020
The Yard Sale
and friends
I never
understood why Cherie didn’t want to spend her last Thanksgiving with me in
2018. She had told me she decided not to join the family. I still don’t know
what she did for Thanksgiving that year, but I remember telling her that she
needed to come to Thanksgiving with our family and mom and dad because “what if
this would be mom or dad’s last Thanksgiving with us?!” I begged her to join
our family in Phoenix, but she had made up her mind. Looking back, I strongly
believe that the cancer (which she didn’t know she had yet) was affecting her brain
and decisions she was making. It was shortly after Thanksgiving 2018 that I got
a call from my dad at 2:00am, saying that Cherie had a mass in her colon. I was
overwhelmed, thinking it wasn’t mom and dad that wouldn’t experience another Thanksgiving
with our family…it was Cherie. Her death on October 18, 2019, cut her short of
spending another Thanksgiving with me and my family. Her absence was noticeable…she
was the table decorator. She would use her pressed fall leaves from previous
years and whatever beautiful Fall decorations she had stored away to decorate
our table each Thanksgiving we were together. I was busy in the kitchen, preparing
food. Cherie’s most important task each Thanksgiving day was to make the table
beautiful. Last Thanksgiving, the one right after Cherie’s passing, we all
noticed the absence of her thoughtful decorations. This year, my daughter,
Cosette, filled her shoes and prepared a beautiful table for us to enjoy our
meal. It warmed my heart.
Many of you
know that my parents have moved and are selling their house they’ve lived in
for almost 30 years. Selling their house meant selling Cherie’s cottage, which
many have visited through the years. You’ve seen her beautiful household
decorations that spoke of her creativity and her personality. Her “cottage” was
so charming. The reality of clearing it out, selling most of her belongings,
was not real until a couple of weeks ago when my parents had their “moving sale”.
I watched, mostly numb, as her household dishes, hat boxes, and decorative wall
hangings disappeared, passed on to a happy buyer, to become part of a new home.
My parents had to go through 30 years of their own belongings, as well. Many items
went into the yard sale. Many of those items invoked vivid memories in my mind.
There were bedspreads Cherie and I had used through the years, cameras that had
belonged to my grandparents at one point, a giant pot used for canning through
the years, many tools of my dad’s, an old stereo of Cherie’s, some of her hat
boxes, and various items from her cottage. I had to remove myself from my
feelings, from my many memories that ran through my head with certain items for
sale on the tables before me. I was strong enough to make it through that day
with only a few tears. The emotions were overwhelming.
The best
thing about that day was watching my parents’ friends. Most are in their 70’s. Many
had shown up to help at the yard sale. Some put signs out, others helped with
taking money, still others were there for moral support. These friends that
gave so much of their time for my parents were inspiring for my heart. They
were there at 6am, with smiling faces and coffee in hand. These were couples that
had been a part of the Gray family for more than 40 years. They were true
friends of my parents. They have all loved and supported each other through the
years. My husband and I have been witnesses of watching my parents’ friends come
beside them these last 2 years, even for the yard sale! My heart was warmed. Watching
their love for one another brought specific friends of my husband and mine to
mind, giving me a sense of hope because of a strong bond that has developed with
so many through our years. As their faces enveloped my mind, I knew EXACTLY who
would be there for us in our old age, through thick and thin and trying times
that may lie ahead of our years on this earth. The beauty of God’s people
coming together to form life long friendships was something that struck me on
that yard sale day. I thanked God for those He has placed in our lives that
will continue to be a shoulder to lean on and, perhaps, an early riser at our
future yard sale, when we are having to downsize in our later years.
The family
of God and the friends that He gives us are a testimony to His everlasting
kindness and undeserved blessings in our lives. The example set by my parents’
friends has been meaningful, causing me to look ahead and praise our God for
the friends he has given the Kinney family that have been, and will be, at our
side for many years to come.
To the lifelong
friends that are true and loving encouragers to my parents…Thank you. Your
example in the real ways that you love them has been evident in so many ways. Thank
you for giving of your lives, your time, your laughter and your tears. These
things will live on. Your support has been encouraging in ways that will affect
the life of my own family and close friends for many years to come.
