October 9th, 2019
If you were out and about in Tucson today you may or may not
have seen Cherie as a passenger in my mom’s van, headed to an important
meeting! Yes, it’s true! Cherie actually attended a TRM Refugee Ministry Network
Partners lunch meeting today. The people attending were organizations that were
launched because of TRM! Cherie stayed for over an hour and her smile lit up
the room. She listened to many stories and challenges and Cherie shared some of
her own. One of her friends rightly encouraged her, “Way to take the fullness
of each moment, Cherie, and support those special partners!”
I had decided I wasn’t going to write another blog until my
sister was literally on her death bed. When I wrote the last blog I thought
that was just around the corner. Many of us thought the same: We flew my son in
from PA to say goodbye, we scheduled visitors as often as possible for a face
to face with Cherie, and I tried to help limit visitors by posting my blog. Ha!
Our God has had other plans! On September 16th, I had posted that
Cherie had recently moved over to my parents’ house, into her own hospital bed.
My mom was staying awake many nights, serving Cherie with any needs she might have,
including administering pain medication and sometimes helping her to the bathroom.
When I realized this was just too much on my mom, we started asking friends to
cover the nights so my mom could get some rest. AND OF COURSE… the friends,
mostly nurses, signed up to spend the night with Cherie. Many found that Cherie
got a boost of energy into the late night hours and she was ready and willing
to stay up and chat for quite awhile! In the midst of all of this, the hospice
doctor had prescribed a specific steroid for some of the things Cherie was
dealing with in her body. The side effects to this steroid were that Cherie
would get more energy and her appetite would increase. THIS HAS HAPPENED TWO
FOLD!!
People have been making her homemade soups and she has had
an appetite for eating! Although she is not consuming the ultimate amount of
calories that we would hope for someone her size and age, she is still eating!
And she is still drinking! At times, water seems repulsive to her, but so far
we have been able to find something to add to the water that will help her want
to drink water again.
In the midst of all of this, we knew that the caregiving
situation was just taking too much out of my parents. I started receiving calls
from a couple of concerned friends of the family in Tucson . Soon after, my parents,
Cherie, my husband and I, all decided that it was time to consider another
avenue of help. My mom told me that the caregiver that took great care of my
grandmother years ago had contacted her and offered to be Cherie’s caregiver,
as well! Her name is Lucy. Although I'm not Catholic, little did I know that Saint Lucy of Syracuse is
revered as the patron saint of blind people. So now there’s a story that
must be told…
I don’t know the exact time frame, but my sister attended
Western Michigan University to attain her Masters in Orientation and Mobility.
I think this process took about 2 years. Once Cherie received her Master’s, she
worked for the Virginia School for the Deaf and Blind for 3 yrs ( from 1991 – 1993). She
went to Croatia from ’94 to ’95 and then worked at the Missouri School for the
Blind from 1995 – 2000. I have reason to believe that these 5 years were some
of the hardest years of Cherie’s life. She was expected to teach a class of
blind and, probably mostly deaf students, ALL ALONE! No one shared any helps or
expert advice to help Cherie through these years. She was COMPLETELY on her own
at the School for the Blind and had to figure out how to teach blind students basic
mobility. No one was there to give her positive or even negative feedback. She had
NO SUPPORT and had to create a class that would benefit her students and their
needs, despite what her own needs were. Her own needs were not recognized and
these years defined my sister as feeling very alone. This job made her feel almost inhumane, and
incapable. My husband and I went to visit her in 1996. We were very excited to
see what she did for work, but we had no idea how taxing it was on her mentally.
I wish we knew then how much people didn’t recognize her gifts. She was all
alone and we didn’t realize it at that point. But she was making a difference
and really being a good teacher when no around would encourage her!
Back to October of 2019…my parents hire a caregiver named
Lucy, meaning “The Patron Saint of Blind People”…To this day I believe
that my sister taught blind, maybe even deaf/blind people how to cross the
street or catch a city bus or tie their shoes, or something even more important, but no one
was ever able to encourage my sister with these monumental tasks learned
because that’s how God planned it! Lucy is an encourager to Cherie and my parents.
She has helped take on the task of medication when needed, and has assisted
Cherie and my parents in whatever way they need help.
I just returned from Rocky Point, Mexico. My youngest son,
Maximus, and I met up with mom and dad Gray at their trailer at Rocky Point! We
stayed for 2 and a half days while Lucy watched over and took care of
Cherie. We had a wonderful time
together! My parents and I spent long, hot hours together on the beach, watching
Max spear a fish!
Many have asked about Cherie’s current condition. It almost
seems to change daily! She is usually
quite tired, but she seems to have energy for visitors. Her state has changed extensively
from my last post. My sister is trying to function as much as possible for as
long as possible. The fact that she made it out of the house today was
unspeakable! The Lord is doing His work where He seems fit. I do pray that
those who were able to see my sister today used their glorifying words and prayers
to honor Christ, the One Who is able to cover all spiritual blindness.
We will be visiting our daughter, Cosette, in Holland, Michigan,
for Parents’ Weekend at Hope College. I can’t help but to think, according to my
gastroenterologist, that my sister was her age when the cancer began to grow in
her body. This chills me to the bone. My hope is in Christ and Him alone…and
the name of the college where my daughter attends is Hope College.
How can they say there is no God?!
