The Back Story of Blindness

October 9^th, 2019

If you were out and about in Tucson today you may or may not have seen Cherie as a passenger in my mom’s van, headed to an important meeting! Yes, it’s true! Cherie actually attended a TRM Refugee Ministry Network Partners lunch meeting today. The people attending were organizations that were launched because of TRM! Cherie stayed for over an hour and her smile lit up the room. She listened to many stories and challenges and Cherie shared some of her own. One of her friends rightly encouraged her, “Way to take the fullness of each moment, Cherie, and support those special partners!”

I had decided I wasn’t going to write another blog until my sister was literally on her death bed. When I wrote the last blog I thought that was just around the corner. Many of us thought the same: We flew my son in from PA to say goodbye, we scheduled visitors as often as possible for a face to face with Cherie, and I tried to help limit visitors by posting my blog. Ha! Our God has had other plans! On September 16^th, I had posted that Cherie had recently moved over to my parents’ house, into her own hospital bed. My mom was staying awake many nights, serving Cherie with any needs she might have, including administering pain medication and sometimes helping her to the bathroom. When I realized this was just too much on my mom, we started asking friends to cover the nights so my mom could get some rest. AND OF COURSE… the friends, mostly nurses, signed up to spend the night with Cherie. Many found that Cherie got a boost of energy into the late night hours and she was ready and willing to stay up and chat for quite awhile! In the midst of all of this, the hospice doctor had prescribed a specific steroid for some of the things Cherie was dealing with in her body. The side effects to this steroid were that Cherie would get more energy and her appetite would increase. THIS HAS HAPPENED TWO FOLD!!

People have been making her homemade soups and she has had an appetite for eating! Although she is not consuming the ultimate amount of calories that we would hope for someone her size and age, she is still eating! And she is still drinking! At times, water seems repulsive to her, but so far we have been able to find something to add to the water that will help her want to drink water again.

In the midst of all of this, we knew that the caregiving situation was just taking too much out of my parents. I started receiving calls from a couple of concerned friends of the family in Tucson . Soon after, my parents, Cherie, my husband and I, all decided that it was time to consider another avenue of help. My mom told me that the caregiver that took great care of my grandmother years ago had contacted her and offered to be Cherie’s caregiver, as well! Her name is Lucy. Although I'm not Catholic, little did I know that Saint Lucy of Syracuse is revered as the patron saint of blind people. So now there’s a story that must be told…

I don’t know the exact time frame, but my sister attended Western Michigan University to attain her Masters in Orientation and Mobility. I think this process took about 2 years. Once Cherie received her Master’s, she worked for the Virginia School for the Deaf and Blind for 3 yrs ( from 1991 – 1993). She went to Croatia from ’94 to ’95 and then worked at the Missouri School for the Blind from 1995 – 2000. I have reason to believe that these 5 years were some of the hardest years of Cherie’s life. She was expected to teach a class of blind and, probably mostly deaf students, ALL ALONE! No one shared any helps or expert advice to help Cherie through these years. She was COMPLETELY on her own at the School for the Blind and had to figure out how to teach blind students basic mobility. No one was there to give her positive or even negative feedback. She had NO SUPPORT and had to create a class that would benefit her students and their needs, despite what her own needs were. Her own needs were not recognized and these years defined my sister as feeling very alone.  This job made her feel almost inhumane, and incapable. My husband and I went to visit her in 1996. We were very excited to see what she did for work, but we had no idea how taxing it was on her mentally. I wish we knew then how much people didn’t recognize her gifts. She was all alone and we didn’t realize it at that point. But she was making a difference and really being a good teacher when no around would encourage her!

Back to October of 2019…my parents hire a caregiver named Lucy, meaning “The Patron Saint of Blind People”…To this day I believe that my sister taught blind, maybe even deaf/blind people how to cross the street or catch a city bus or tie their shoes,  or something even more important, but no one was ever able to encourage my sister with these monumental tasks learned because that’s how God planned it! Lucy is an encourager to Cherie and my parents. She has helped take on the task of medication when needed, and has assisted Cherie and my parents in whatever way they need help.

I just returned from Rocky Point, Mexico. My youngest son, Maximus, and I met up with mom and dad Gray at their trailer at Rocky Point! We stayed for 2 and a half days while Lucy watched over and took care of Cherie.  We had a wonderful time together! My parents and I spent long, hot hours together on the beach, watching Max spear a fish!

Many have asked about Cherie’s current condition. It almost seems to change daily!  She is usually quite tired, but she seems to have energy for visitors. Her state has changed extensively from my last post. My sister is trying to function as much as possible for as long as possible. The fact that she made it out of the house today was unspeakable! The Lord is doing His work where He seems fit. I do pray that those who were able to see my sister today used their glorifying words and prayers to honor Christ, the One Who is able to cover all spiritual blindness.

We will be visiting our daughter, Cosette, in Holland, Michigan, for Parents’ Weekend at Hope College. I can’t help but to think, according to my gastroenterologist, that my sister was her age when the cancer began to grow in her body. This chills me to the bone. My hope is in Christ and Him alone…and the name of the college where my daughter attends is Hope College.

How can they say there is no God?!